Don’t leave them laughing

Is there a right way to write? Ever since Dr. Johnson wrote his dictionary people have been laying down laws for the English language. Perhaps the most famous rules today are Elmore Leonard’s 10 rules for writing, which begin with: Number 1 – “Never open a book with weather” – as in “It was a dark and stormy night.”

My own rule is the title of this post and a central message of David Foster Wallace’s brilliant essay “Tense Present: Democracy, English, and the wars over usage,” which was published in Harper’s Magazine in April 2001. Wallace  says that as much as grammarians want to believe that rules for writing exist to prevent misunderstanding they actually exist to prevent your not being taken seriously. For example, to make one up - “Running furiously down the road the clock struck one and she knew she was going to be late.” Everyone knows what this imaginary writer is trying to say. But the result is laughable.

Here are some other examples, not invented that I found in the Montreal Gazette and Toronto Globe and Mail on Wednesday February 29, 2012. 

“Montreal drivers were slapped with a 14-cent jump in gasoline prices on Tuesday and energy industry eperts say that’s just a taste of the higher fuel costs Canadians can expect in coming months.”

“She was smart as a tack, perceptive and forever thinking outside the box.”

“Another worry: these digital medical records will be worth their weight in diamonds, not just in gold”

Here thanks to George Orwell are some rules to avoid breaking my rule.

Tags: Communications, Writing